Let it Be Me Read online

  Stella made a loud scoffing sound. “Right. Because Captain Stick-up-his-ass always puts your needs first.”

  Megan laughed, some of the tension easing from her shoulders. Stella had only met Adam a handful of times, but she knew full well that Megan’s love of her job was entirely because of Charlie. Adam was a good man and an excellent father, but he rarely made the effort to extend a conversation beyond polite pleasantries. This morning had been the most time she and Adam had spent chatting in longer than she could remember. Usually, their conversations consisted of Charlie updates, upcoming events, and household needs. Which was fine with Megan because he was her boss, not her friend. If she worked at the library or the shopping mall, she wouldn’t expect heart to hearts with her employer.

  “Stop it. He’s trying to get a promotion, and he’s stressed. And you’re not really in a position to call him on being a workaholic,” Megan teased.

  “Fine. Just text me when you’re done, okay? I have to go.”

  Megan hung up and went back to the bathroom to gather her things. It took effort not to look at the clock obsessively. When Adam finally walked through the door just after nine, she let out a deep breath that had been lodged in her lungs. See? She could count on him for this.

  Walking down the hall to greet him, she stopped in her tracks, her stomach pitching at the look on his face. “What’s wrong?”

  He stared at her a moment, his gaze roaming over her face, like it was the first time he’d seen her. Remembering she had makeup on, she started to throw out a comment about him seeing her like this. They were both so used to…other versions of each other.

  “Megan,” he said.

  She froze. No. No. No. He wouldn’t do this to her.

  She shook her head. “I need to get going.” She started to step around him, but he blocked the path, unmoving.

  “I have to go out of town. I didn’t plan it, but I can’t say no. I need to leave in the next ten minutes if I want to catch my flight. I just came home to grab an overnight bag.”

  Pain stabbed her chest. She pressed her palm to it, needing to counteract the pressure. “My interview…”

  His jaw clenched, and he pressed his lips together. Standing so close, she could see he’d missed a tiny spot on his chin that morning when he’d shaved. Looking down his slightly crooked nose, he nodded curtly. “I know. I’m sorry.”

  Panic pushed at her rib cage. “I can’t miss it. You know this.”

  Waiting for a small sign of the softening and compassion he usually had only for Charlie, Megan held her breath. Adam squared his shoulders, and she had to tilt her head back even more to hold his gaze.

  “There’s nothing I can do. I can’t stay here and argue about this with you. You’ll need to reschedule. I’ll be in New York until tomorrow night.”

  Adam stepped around her, but Megan’s feet wouldn’t move. Neither would the air in her lungs. Before he reached his bedroom, she turned. “I can’t miss this. Can you take a later flight? It’s one hour, Adam. I never ask you for anything. You promised me this morning.”

  He turned to face her, his shoulders hunched, and ran a hand through his dark, slightly messy hair. “I didn’t expect Charlie to get sick. There’s nothing I can do about that. I’m not happy to leave while he isn’t well, and I know this puts you in a tough spot—”

  “A tough spot?” Anger replaced all her other jumbled feelings as she walked closer. She wasn’t used to the turbulent spin of emotions and couldn’t keep the rancor out of her voice. “It’s my career. It’s everything I’ve been working toward.”

  The fire that leaped into his eyes seemed a startling contrast to his usual cool gaze. “I know a bit about that, seeing as this is my career. Which, by the way, is the source of your income. I can’t say no to my boss. And while I’m sure this won’t earn me an employer of the year award, neither can you. I have to go. I’ll call you tonight to check in on Charlie.”

  He turned and left her there, her breath whooshing in and out. She was, quite literally, speechless. A couple of hours ago, she’d been all but drooling over his abs, and now she’d like to kick him in them. How had she thought she’d seen a sliver of humanity in the machine that was Adam?

  He said nothing when he came out of his bedroom less than five minutes later. Megan leaned on the wall, glaring at him when he walked past. He met her gaze but didn’t speak. She watched him walk toward the living room and, a minute later, heard the front door close.

  Tears burned as Megan breathed through her nose, in and out, trying to keep herself in check. Clenching her fists at her sides, she lost the battle as tears escaped. She swiped at them, determined not to wreck her makeup.

  Pushing off the wall, she went to the living room to check Charlie. He was awake, barely, staring at the television.

  Though it took effort, she kept her voice even. “How you doing, sweetie? You need anything?”

  He shook his head. “Dad went to New York.”

  Megan’s stomach seized. “He did.”

  “I wish I could go.”

  It looked like they were both wishing on dreams that wouldn’t come true.

  Chapter Two

  Adam tipped the room service waiter and shut the hotel door. Carrying the covered plate, he took his meal to the desk. Deciding the day definitely needed a beer, he grabbed one from the mini bar, refusing to look at the price. He spent too much time thinking about—worrying about—money. As he sat down and uncovered his hamburger and fries, he sighed into the silence. Today had been a complete fuck up from start to finish.

  He twisted the top off his bottle, his mouth watering at the small hiss. He didn’t drink all that often, but he did love the taste of an ice-cold beer. The fact that he enjoyed it so much was why he made sure to limit himself. No desire to make the “like father, like son” adage true in his case.

  Checking the time on his phone, he smiled at the screen saver image of Charlie’s face. The urge to call and check in again made his fingers twitchy, but he’d already pissed his nanny off enough for one day. And possibly wrecked her future career. Meg’s expression popped into his brain—jarring the cement barrier he’d put around his heart. Fuck, he’d hated letting her down like that. He’d always known she was temporary in his and Charlie’s life. Wasn’t everyone other than him? But that didn’t mean he didn’t want the best for her, and he knew she’d been counting down the days to becoming a teacher. Though today, she’d looked more like a sexy fucking executive than anyone’s teacher.

  Shit. He did not need to be thinking about how she looked. He’d gone five years without thinking of her as a woman. If he could help it, he spent no time thinking about women in general. His focus was Charlie and his job. He didn’t need anything else. But Megan did. And he’d probably screwed that up for the girl—woman—who’d helped him put his life back together after his divorce.

  He had about an hour before he met up with Davison Flint at the hotel bar for drinks. Adam popped a fry in his mouth and wheeled his chair closer to the bed to grab the file waiting there.

  As he flipped it open, careful not to get fry grease on it, his cell rang. Caller ID showed his best friend Declan’s face. Swiping the screen, he picked up the phone.

  “Dec. How’s it going?”

  “Won’t complain. Where are you? Thought you were swinging by tonight?”

  Adam leaned back in the leather office chair. “New York. Last-minute thing.”

  “Shit. I wouldn’t mind doing a last-minute thing in New York for a couple of nights.”

  Dec was always up for spur of the moment, but he managed to balance that side of himself with being a successful bar owner. Adam wished he had a little of his friend’s zest for the unexpected.

  He closed his eyes and sighed. “I’d gladly trade you so I could be home.”

  “Everything okay?” Dec asked, his tone sharpening.

  Unease barrel-rolled through Adam’s stomach. He didn’t like being a plane ride away from Charlie when he
was sick. Or at all. How the hell did his ex-wife do this full-time? She’d moved to L.A. four years ago. Before that, she’d flown back and forth between Maine and L.A. if she had a big audition or a role.

  “Yeah. Charlie’s sick, and Megan had an interview today. I had to leave and made her miss it.”

  “That sucks. Can she reschedule?”

  Adam glared at himself in the mirror. “Who knows? Maybe. I didn’t ask. Didn’t have time.”

  “You sure you’re all right, man? Want me to swing by and check on Charlie and the hot nanny?”

  Adam sat up, growling into the receiver. “Don’t call her that. She’s barely older than Charlie, and one of these days, you’re going to screw up and say it to her face.”

  When he’d hired Megan, Adam had been so wrapped up in the divorce and being a single father that recognizing any woman’s attributes was beyond him. Besides that, she’d been nineteen to his twenty-five. That hadn’t stopped him from noticing how pretty she looked this morning, right before he’d let her down completely. She’d always been pretty, but today, she was polished. It had caught him off guard.

  Declan’s laugh bounced through the phone. “I have no problem telling a hot woman how attractive she is. And I’m pretty sure she’s mid-twenties, is she not?”

  Almost twenty-five, and sure, he’d noticed that she’d grown into her features and could see that she was an attractive woman. But she was also his son’s nanny, which made her beyond off-limits. Not that he wanted to tread on that territory with Megan. She was as likely to quote rom-coms as Adam was to recite portfolio numbers.

  He sighed into the phone. “Whatever. We’re not. That’s all that matters.”

  “You need to get—”

  Adam cut his friend off. “I’m fine. I have to meet a potential client. This one could seal my votes for associate partner.” Unlike Declan, he had more than himself to consider.

  Dec chuckled again. “Perfect. Then you can work more. We need to round up the boys for some poker before you disappear for good. I’ll set it up.”

  “Says the guy who sleeps at his bar,” Adam replied. He popped another fry in his mouth.

  “It’s the perfect setup, and you know it.”

  They chatted for another minute before they disconnected. Adam finished off his burger and got ready to meet Davison. The new owner of a multibillion-dollar soda company, he wanted to secure his own people for every department. Including accounting. Landing this account could put Adam one step closer to securing his and Charlie’s future.

  Growing up with a father who spent more of his meager earnings on alcohol than he brought home, Adam worked his ass off to make sure his own son would always have everything he needed. He’d been determined, from the minute he held Charlie in his arms, that his boy wouldn’t spend one second wondering where his next meal was coming from or if he’d be alone at night. Charlie would never know that life, which made everything Adam was doing worth it. Even at moments like these when he was too far away to check in on his son before bed. Normally, he’d FaceTime his son, but with Charlie being sick, and Megan being pissed, it was probably better he not.

  He was definitely making ends meet with his current income, but he wanted more than that. He wanted Charlie’s future locked in, and advancing his own career would assure that.

  Several of his colleagues had their children at a high-priced private school. It wasn’t expected that Adam enroll his son there, but it was one more thing that might smooth his path to partnership. Adam didn’t like jumping through hoops or feeling as though he was looking to “fit in,” but the school offered a lot Charlie’s public school couldn’t. For the cost of it, it damn well should. The tuition would not be an issue if he advanced in the company. The bonuses alone would make the tuition a breeze.

  Though she made more in an afternoon than Adam did in a week, his ex-wife still received a chunk of his income. Reece had gone to Hollywood with the clothes on her back and all of their joint savings. Even after she’d started getting steady gigs, he’d never taken Reece back to court or asked for child support. Some sick part of him had refused to believe—at first—that she’d stay gone. Now, he couldn’t imagine if she came back. Once she’d started making money, Adam’s pride had stopped him from suggesting she didn’t need his money. Plus, he wanted to know when Charlie was with her, that he was still contributing to his son’s well-being. But things had changed. He could definitely imagine what he’d do with the chunk of alimony he sent her every month. Maybe it was time to chat with his lawyer again.

  But not tonight. Checking his phone one more time, he saw Megan had texted and said Charlie was sleeping soundly. That made heading to the meeting easier. His son was fine, cared for by a woman who treated him like her own child. Or what a mother should treat her child like. Neither he nor Charlie had hit the lottery in the mom department. But Megan filled in all of the gaps that Reece had left.

  He couldn’t afford to think about any of that right now. He had an account to nail. After that, everything else would fall into place.

  …

  Adam wrapped up his meeting with Davison, managed a full six hours of sleep, and checked in with one of his existing New York clients. By the time he touched down in the Maine airport, he was cautiously optimistic about his associate partnership chances. His car waited for him in the extended parking lot, and though he was truly craving the sight of his house and his son, he stopped by the office.

  Family might come first in his heart, but if he wanted to give Charlie the things he deserved, it couldn’t look that way to the partners. By the time he got home, he figured Charlie would be in bed, but instead, he was at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of ice cream. Walking into his kitchen, the smell of something delicious in the air, Adam’s heart clutched at the sight of his boy with a lot more color in his cheeks than when he’d left.

  “Dad!” Charlie launched off the chair and threw himself at Adam, who caught him in one arm.

  “Hey, pal. You look better.” He kissed Charlie’s forehead, grateful he didn’t seem warm at all. “Ice cream for dinner? Lucky guy.”

  Megan walked into the room with a basket of laundry on her hip. She wore black leggings and a loose T-shirt—her usual outfit, but it seemed…different on her somehow. Now that he’d seen her in her conquer-the-world outfit, she appeared older. More mature. Sexier.

  Shit.

  With a tight smile, she nodded. “Hi. I thought I heard the garage. How was your trip?”

  She didn’t look mad. It didn’t seem like she was going to throw the laundry basket at his head. Both good signs. The guilt still clawed at his stomach, though.

  “Good, thank you. And thank you again for covering. I really do appreciate it,” he said, cringing at the memory of her expression when he’d left. For about two seconds, he’d wanted to stop, drop his overnight bag, and pull her into his arms and tell her he wouldn’t go, that he wouldn’t let her down. But life wasn’t the storybook she believed it was. If it is, well, guess that makes me the fucking ogre.

  Charlie gripped him around the neck, and Adam dropped his briefcase onto the table so he could give him a full hug. Adam breathed in the scent of his son’s shampoo. His thoughts flashed back to Megan doing something similar yesterday, and his heart stopped for a second, as it had when he’d realized what she’d done. It was nothing. Get your thoughts in order. What the hell is wrong with you?

  “She’s not mad at you or me, Daddy,” Charlie said.

  Megan laughed, an easy, casual sound that suited her personality, and his eyes met hers over Charlie’s head. “She has the right to be. At me. Not you.”

  She pursed her lips, drawing his attention to them. He forced his gaze back to her eyes. “It all worked out okay.”

  He wondered what she meant by that but just nodded in relief. Megan was good for Charlie, and he might not tell her that enough, but he could see it. Charlie loved her, and the thought of her leaving made Adam feel like he couldn’t breathe.


  She’d set the laundry on the table and begun folding towels. “Finish your dessert, bud. Then it’s bedtime.”

  “Aw, but Dad just got home.”

  Adam set Charlie down and ruffled his dark hair. Was it normal to love a kid so much it twisted him up inside? Had his own parents ever felt like this? Not his mother. He knew that for sure. If she’d felt even a tenth of what Adam felt for his son, she wouldn’t have walked out and not looked back when he was thirteen.

  “I can finish that, Megan. I’m sure you have better things to do than laundry. Why don’t you head out?” Adam said as Charlie went back to his ice cream.

  “If you’re sure? You don’t have to go back to work?”

  He should do some work, but he could do it from home once he got Charlie in bed for the night. If things had gone as well with Davison as he’d hoped, he was about to get even busier while they closed the deal. So he’d take tonight.

  “I’m sure.”

  She smiled at him, and he wondered if she did have plans or somewhere to be. Maybe she had a date. None of your business, and who cares if she does? She’d been in Charlie’s life for years, but he didn’t know all that much about her. The carriage home over the detached garage worked perfectly as a private home for her, so once he was in for the night, she usually headed out.

  She began to gather the things she had scattered around the kitchen. Adam shrugged off his suit jacket and hung it on the back of the chair. The sun was slinking down in the sky, and through the French doors off the kitchen, he saw reds and pinks tinting the clouds. Summer coming would make it easier to get home before nightfall. Taking a seat at the table, he loosened his tie, and the simple act, along with being home, took the tension out of his shoulders and neck.

  Megan had her arms loaded with books, her purse, a canvas bag, and a sweater when her phone rang. Huffing out a breath, which sent a long lock of her reddish brown hair across her face, she unloaded everything onto the gray granite countertop and pulled her phone out of her pocket.