Damaged Read online

  Damaged

  Jody Holford

  Contents

  Copyright

  More from Penner Publishing

  Also by Jody Holford

  Epigraph

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  About Penner Publishing

  This edition published by

  Penner Publishing

  Post Office Box 57914

  Los Angeles, California 91413

  www.pennerpublishing.com

  * * *

  Copyright © 2016 by Jody Holford

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, corporations, institutions, organizations, events, or locales in this novel are either the product of the author’s imagination or, if real, used fictitiously. The resemblance of any character to actual persons (living or dead) is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright holder.

  Cover Designer: Mayhem Cover Creations

  ISBN: 978-1-944179-01-4

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  Also by Jody Holford

  Falling for Home

  The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.

  Ernest Hemingway

  To my family for shaping who I am

  Chapter 1

  “Loving someone is a slow suicide.” Maddi Brooks rolled her eyes and scribbled the line out, the pen scratching against the notepad. It was a safe bet that not everyone felt that way and an even safer one that, as far as marketing slogans for her jewelry line went, it wasn’t a strong byline.

  “Play it safe. Buy her a heart instead of giving her yours.” This time she laughed at herself before crumpling the piece of paper and tossing it toward the trash bin. It bounced off the others and landed on the floor.

  Maddi rolled her shoulders, shifting on the oversize chair she’d curled up in early that morning when the nightmares had chased her from the warmth of her bed. Her hand swirled more ink on the page, but this time in shapes, not words. Designs were far easier and much more soothing than thinking up beguiling expressions of love.

  The knock on the door had her scrunching her eyebrows together. She wasn’t expecting a delivery today. She didn’t get visitors, and part of this building’s allure had been the secured entry doors that required a key or a code to get in. Maddi set the pen and paper on the small side table she’d found for a great price on Etsy.

  A few steps brought her to the door, where she peeked through the little hole and, as expected, saw someone she didn’t know. Maddi didn’t know many people. And even more important, people didn’t know her. The stranger in question appeared relaxed and self-assured as he looked up and down the brightly lit hallway. Hard to see much through a distorted lens but Maddi was an expert at reading body language and his said that he had all the time in the world to keep knocking. She eased the door open, keeping the chain on. Surprise flashed in his features when their gazes locked on each other. Eyes as blue as the azurite beads she favored beamed into hers.

  “Hey, there! I didn’t think you were home,” he said as if they were old friends. Maddi was unsure how to respond. A breath caught in her throat. He had no reason to wonder if she was home. He kept smiling, despite her silence and lack of manners.

  “I’m Noah.” He held out a hand but when she didn’t take it, he let it drop. “I was coming up to see my sister. She lives down the hall, right there,” he said, pointing down the grey carpeted hallway. “A package was being delivered so I signed for it. Thing is, it’s heavy, and I’m fine to haul it up for you but didn’t want to if you weren’t home.”

  Maddi blinked at the stream of words, even as her eyes traveled over him. His short, wavy hair seemed indecisive as to whether it was brown or blond. He ran his fingers through it absently as she gazed at him. She felt an odd tightening in her tummy that she quickly dismissed as nerves. Dressed casually in jeans, a plain white tee that stretched across his chest, and a worn, leather bomber jacket, he looked back at her as if there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

  “I’m sorry. What?” Maddi blinked again. She needed coffee. His smile widened, offering straight, perfect teeth. Maddi wasn’t tempted by perfection. It didn’t exist. His chuckle came from deep in his chest, and that unfamiliar spasm returned in her stomach.

  “There’s a large, heavy box downstairs for you. I can bring it up,” he repeated in a slower cadence but still with a laugh.

  Maddi straightened her spine, giving herself a mental shake. “Oh. Right. You don’t have to do that. I can grab it,” she answered. He eyed her from head to toe, slowly but not rudely. But his gaze warmed her, made her feel like she was wearing less than yoga pants and a tank top. That warmth seeped up her chest, to the back of her neck, across her cheeks. Irritation followed. She was acting like a school girl with a crush. Which she had never been.

  “Honestly, I don’t mind. Though you seem like you’re in fairly good shape, so I have no doubt you could,” he said.

  His grin was quick, warm, and charming. Fortunately, she was immune to charm. Before she could tell him she didn’t need help, he winked, said he’d be right back, and walked down the hall to the elevator. Maddi stood there, staring at his back, wondering what had just happened. At twenty-eight, she’d had plenty of opportunities to brush off advances, but Noah, and his way-too-bright smile, had tied up her tongue. She had no idea why. She just knew that it wasn’t okay.

  Noah smiled when he noticed that she’d pulled jeans and a hoodie over her shapely body by the time he knocked again. He could see the same bright pink tank top peeking out from the zippered hoodie and again thought, Wow, seriously hot. He wondered what her pretty green eyes looked like when they weren’t all slumberous, though that look had its appeal too.

  He noted, with some curiosity, that she double-checked that it was him before opening the door again. Who does she think it might be? The chain jingled against the wood as it was unlatched. The box was heavy as hell, but he wasn’t about to let her know that. Shifting his weight, Noah watched her look back and forth between him and the door, pursing her lips. Sexy, full, unpainted lips that took effort to look away from. She pulled the bottom one between her teeth then frowned. Her brows drew together and if he wasn’t mistaken, she gave an ever-so-slight nod, like she’d made a decision. Apparently not an easy one in her mind. She moved aside, leaving the door open a crack. Caution was a good thing, and he wished Natalie had that same streak in her. Street smarts. This woman had it in spades, but he was curious about what made his sister’s sexy, dark-haired neighbor so wary.

  “Where do you want it?” Hopefully, she didn’t notice the strain in his voice. The package felt like cement and was awkward to hold. His fingers were cramping. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth again, then stepped forward and directed
him down the short hallway to a closed door. The one across from it was ajar. A large rumpled bed filled the shadowed darkness.

  She cleared her throat, gesturing to the door she’d opened. Noah maneuvered the box inside, placed it in the center of the room. Sunlight poured through the unadorned window, bouncing off the white walls. Noah tried not to let the relief at putting the box down show when he straightened and met her watchful eyes. Her long hair, which had been loose and flowing a few moments ago, was pulled back into a hasty bun-like thing. She didn’t return his smile but nodded her head. Her eyes were a little more awake now.

  “Thank you.”

  The stiffness in her voice matched her rigid stance near the doorway. Noah took in the setup, stalling for time, but she offered no information about herself or the room. Tight-lipped was putting it mildly, but he couldn’t help himself. He marveled at the idea of anyone walking into this room and not being curious. Especially someone like him, with his naturally curious nature. Between the stunning woman standing in front of him and the various tools and gadgets lining the tables and walls, he wasn’t quite ready to leave. He owned many of these tools himself—typical hammers, screwdrivers, wire cutters, and vices, but others looked like they were made for far more intricate work than he did. An assortment of jars, vials, and uniquely shaped containers lined one of the worktables. He ignored her pointed stare and huff of impatience, further intrigued by the fact that she was obviously too polite to ask him to go. Running his hand along the shiny surface of what looked to be the main work station, he wondered how long she’d let him stay. It was a good idea to get to know Natalie’s neighbors. It was an excuse, but a good one.

  “You’re welcome. This is quite the setup you’ve got here…” He arched his eyebrows even as his voice trailed off. Noah was good at waiting.

  She hesitated. “Maddi.”

  Stepping into the hallway, she gestured for him to follow, shutting the door when he did. Back in the living room, she walked straight to the door. Nat was likely still in the shower, which gave him a few more minutes to play get-to-know-you with Maddi, so much as she’d allow. The apartment had a similar open-design concept to his sister’s. Natalie’s apartment had a hallway that led to smaller rooms, whereas this one was the ultimate great room. Gorgeous oak cabinets lined the kitchen area in an L shape. The countertop complimented the grain of the wood, and the bar that separated the living room was big enough to accommodate the two straight-back bar-style chairs. Crown moulding lined the living room, allowing for character and distinction. It was a nice layout; small but a good use of space. Noah pretended to look at the spectacular view through the massive picture window that made the apartment seem bigger.

  He’d been in Colorado for ten years now, and the mountains still took his breath away. It didn’t seem to matter where he went; they were in the background guarding the sky like giants. He could see them from his sister’s apartment, but not like this. Natalie didn’t seem to care one way or the other as long as there was a strong lock on the door, but if he lived here, he’d want to wake up to this view. Of course, the view from his backyard was nothing to complain about either. He had a generous amount of green space that he planned to do something with this year.

  Maddi tapped her foot on the hardwood, butterflies churning in her stomach. They didn’t often wake anymore. Because she didn’t put herself in positions that would stir them. Noah finally turned, his smile not losing its punch.

  “I thought that maybe I was carrying cement for you, but if I had to guess now, I’d say steel?”

  The large paned windows had been one of the draws of the apartment so she couldn’t blame him for getting caught on the view. Still, he was deliberately ignoring her body language, which hinted he should go. He’d have to be dimwitted to not pick up on it, and looking at those smile-creased eyes, she knew that he wasn’t. She considered him, standing there comfortably, taking up too much space in her living room, making it hard to breathe in and out. His posture was relaxed, with his hands shoved loosely in the pockets of his well-worn jeans. He kept looking around, not that there was much to see.

  Maddi lived and traveled light. If Noah was bothered by her lack of response, it didn’t show in his expression. Socializing wasn’t her strong suit, but she knew the nerves that pushed against her chest, pounded against her rib cage, came across as rude. Breathe. It’s fine. She’d had to rely on gut instinct more than once in her life, and taking her own assessment, she did that now. If she was right, the most dangerous thing about him was the hypnotizing smile warming his features while he waited out her response.

  Maddi released a pent-up breath. “Copper wiring actually.”

  Unsure of what to do, she left her post at the door and walked into the kitchen area. Pulling a bag of Starbucks from the freezer, she figured that even if the routine task of making coffee didn’t settle her, the caffeine could only make things better. As irrational as it might be, she felt his eyes on her as she moved and her stomach jumped in response. She ground her teeth together as she pulled two mugs from the cupboard, knowing if she looked at him, his eyes would show triumph. Yes. Manners were winning against apprehension. Just because she chose not to, didn’t mean she couldn’t engage with others. But she would have preferred to do so with someone less… appealing.

  “Given the workspace, I’d say you’re some sort of artist?” He sat on one of the two barstools at the island countertop. She’d only purchased two because they came as a set. His voice was low, gravelly, like he’d been woken from sleep. Probably not from nightmares, like her.

  “I design and make jewelry.” Never tell more than you have to. Brooks’ Family Rule number one. With the coffee percolating, teasing her with the scent, she turned, not surprised to see he was still looking directly at her. He seemed like the direct sort. The impact of his gaze on her nerves, however, was surprising. Her cheeks were warm and probably red.

  “I bet you’re better at that than you are at casual conversation,” he said.

  His whole face moved when he smiled, like he couldn’t be halfway happy. And though she absolutely did not mean to, she smiled in return. It felt almost foreign, but something in her chest loosened.

  “Quite a bit actually,” she replied honestly. His eyebrows rose at the admission and his mouth formed a little ‘o’ before he chuckled. Curious, she asked, “Your sister just moved in?”

  He nodded, the amusement fading from his eyes. She’d seen the young woman in passing and on the elevator a few times. More than one woman, of course, but she could picture exactly which one was Noah’s sister. They shared the same thin nose and striking eyes. The sister didn’t have her brother’s annoying habit of holding Maddi’s gaze.

  His fingertips tapped quietly against the counter. “She was living in Salt Lake City. Took a while to convince her to move here, but I’m persuasive.”

  His eyebrows moved up and down comically, and a laugh escaped Maddi before she could stop it. When was the last time someone had made her laugh? She couldn’t even remember. She had no doubt Noah was very convincing, for those who were easy to persuade.

  “That’s a big move,” Maddi said. She’d just made a similar one herself. But she was used to moving around.

  Noah frowned, which didn’t suit him. “She needed a big change.”

  She poured two coffees and set cream and sugar on the bar between them. She didn’t push for details. It was none of her business and she didn’t want it to be.

  “Thank you,” he said, leaving his coffee black. She added cream and a large teaspoon of sugar to her own.

  Lowering her eyes, she asked, “Won’t your sister be wondering where you are?” The spoon clinked against the glass as she stirred. Picking up her cup, she took a steadying breath and eyed him over top of it. She realized she’d never had a cup of coffee with a man. Ever. And she was doing it over her own kitchen counter. She blinked, sipped, tried to swallow down her unease with the first taste of the vanilla blend.

 
; He smirked. “She was jumping into the shower. Her name is Natalie. She’s just about completely unpacked. I was going to take her out to lunch. Would you like to join us?” he asked.

  Maddi shook her head before the reply left her mouth. “No.” She set the coffee down, ignoring the increase in her heart rate. “Thank you. I have work that needs to be done. I’m trying to organize my work room.”

  “Fair enough. Tell you the truth, I think if Natalie had gone shopping, she’d throw a bag of chips at me and insist we get her settled.”

  His laugh was carefree, and it surprised her that she liked the sound. That it made her want to smile.

  She wasn’t easily charmed, but she found him charming, and he was sneaking past her defenses. While she appreciated good looks and a nice smile, she usually wasn’t drawn in by either of those things. So why was he pulling her in? Her chest felt uncomfortably tight and she rubbed a fist against it. Maddi busied herself putting the cream and sugar away. When she turned back, he was studying her, his head tilted, like he believed her, but knew there was more to it. She didn’t need anyone reading through her words or anything else. Her fingers tapped on the counter. She needed quiet. Safety. She needed both on her own. Not with anyone in her space. Picking up the coffee-stained spoon, she started to ask him to leave when he stood up, pushed the bar chair back without warning.

  Noah watched the spoon clatter against the granite countertop. If he hadn’t been looking right at her—or if he wasn`t knee-deep in helping his sister deal with ending an abusive relationship—he might have missed the way Maddi flinched. The slow burn of helplessness that filled him when he thought of what Natalie had been through was working its way to his stomach now, as he looked into Maddi’s wide eyes. He had to exhale with exquisite slowness, being careful not to move abruptly again. He’d just slid the chair back to go, since he’d already overstayed. With the same caution that he’d give a frightened animal, he came around the counter, empty coffee cup in hand, giving Maddi as wide a berth as he could in the tight space.